I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I just forgot I was standing up.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
