I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize