This girl is more easily done than said...
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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