I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
