Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
