I bet he comes in French.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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