What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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