I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
My breasts were aching with rage.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
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