So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Randomize
