at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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