I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
My Sexting was not on an AP level
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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