we have pet lesbian snakes
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
