I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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