dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
