honey bunches of taint.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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