Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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