real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
