it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
