you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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