real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Randomize
