So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
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