this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
