i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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