(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
organizing the empties. That sober.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
