I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize