so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
operation have a gay friend backfired
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
