okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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