So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
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