we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize