I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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