walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize