the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
