what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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