Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
me + whiskey = a bad person
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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