She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
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