You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize