Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
We need to feng shui this bitch.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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