You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
