why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
