it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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