So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
