Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
