He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
