You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
