Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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