Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
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