One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
