I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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