So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Randomize
