She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
