It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Randomize
