You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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