road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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