party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
