I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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