I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
