and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
