She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Girls should come with a carfax report
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
