she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
