I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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