I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
